An Offering to Govinda ummachi

I have backlog again :) Is 5 months too much of a time to have umpteen number of updates? In general, in majority of the cases NO. But when you have a growing kid at home, it is a BIG YES. For those who have doubts, here we go - Graduating from speaking words to sentences, walking to non-stop running for hours together, carrying to insistence to walk without hold hands even in staircases and traffic prone roads, responding to situations, identifying relatives, recognizing voices over phone and having long tele-conversations, knowing how to use touch mobile and view photos, frequently switching ON & OFF the TV (thereby forcing us to put on a tape on the power button) and computer, konjifying other kids by hugging and kissing them, giving the remote to us and requesting for a cartoon channel, saying THANKS when we oblige to any of the requests, showing interest towards books & reading, picking up new words from adult conversations, two mottais, reciting slokas, expressing adamancy and a lot more!!!!  Now you bet J

After the Thinniyam mottai, life was going on in the usual pace with me & S office routine & Chittu’s evening trips to J paati’s place. The Apple Tree nursery rhymes CD is a superhit with Chittu that she knows every rhyme just by seeing the title slide. Reminds me, it has been a long time since we watched it and Youtube videos had overtaken. Time for a restart J We also started a new tradition of going to the nearby park – Jyothi nagar / Fountain park / CPKM local park. She loves the slide, jhoola and merry-go-round but is scared of see-saw. Most important of all, she loves to run around. With one of our help, she can climb the steps of the slide and slides down with a big grin only to be caught by us on the other end. She doesn’t have friends in the park and mostly enjoys alone. Once she met my super boss’ daughter there and they had a good time together. From then on, whenever we go to the park, she keeps searching for AKKA.

Ok, as far as the story goes, first let me start with the 3^rd mottai @ Tirumala. We went to TTD @ T Nagar and registered ourselves for Rs. 50 ticket against 14^th (evening) & 15^th April (morning). Accommodation was full so we decided to take care of it by ourselves. This time we decided not to eat out and packed everything right from raw rice, dhal, pressure cooker, ghee, podis, papad, salt to the usual Aavin Delight milk, sugar, Sunrise coffee powder sachets & induction stove. We started from home at 6 AM on 14^th morning. K paati felt the journey would be tedious and stayed at B athai’s house. NSK mama had office so he too opted out. So it was me, S, Chittu, J paati & thatha. We started by our Wagon R and Rajan was driving. Known for his super speed and super control, J paati had heart in mouth many a times as she was experiencing his driving for the very first time. To add fuel to the fire, speed breakers in Andhra did not have any white / yellow color paint on top of them and we could make out between roads and speed breakers only at a few mts distance. In one place, he also hit an Indica though the mistake from his side was only 10% and 90% blame was on the Indica’s driver. Luckily, our car didn’t have any problem other than a bent front number plate.  So finally we reached Tirupathi by 10 AM with a break in between for breakfast (packed idlys by J paati) First stop was at Tiruchanoor and we had a very good & serene darshan of Goddess Padmavathi with the Rs.100 ticket. We reached Tirumala by 12.30 PM. Kutty thatha had arranged for accommodation through his Andhra Bank tie-up and we got a room at Ahobila Math at just 10 minutes walkable distance from the temple. As soon as we reached the parking lot of Ahobila Math, Chittu vomited all over me. The hill climbing didn’t suit her. We got her cleaned up and I did a quick change and after lunch, we went for the first Darshan after visiting Varahaswami shrine who had given refuge to Govinda Ummachi (Lord Venkateswara) in Tirumala. The Darshan was pretty quick and we were out in 1.5 hours. Chittu looked at the temple elephant and this time around she was a little scared to get the BOP. We came back to the room and after dinner (packed rotis and subji…needless to say who prepared J)retired to bed.

The next morning dawned bright and beautiful. We woke up early and by 6.45 or so were there in mini kalyana katta (for those who are staying in the nearby maths) standing in the queue. At 8’o clock it was Chittu’s turn and she sat in S’s lap and cried non-stop throughout the tonsuring process – right from the beginning till the end. There was water problem in the math. When we reached, there was not a single drop of water. We requested the assistant there to get 2 buckets of hot water but he got only 1 and 3 of us had to take bath. We made trips from ground floor drinking water point (where water was still coming) to the room in 2^nd floor 3-4 times and got the jugs & waterbottles filled with water and somehow managed the show. J paati had prepared Pongal breakfast and lunch was also ready. We devoured the breakfast and went for the 2^nd Darshan. This time too we got to see the Lord of Wealth in 1.5 hours. While we were waiting in the queue for both the days, Chittu slept and woke up only when we reached the Mahadwaram and that was really a boon. Otherwise, in the crowd it would have been a marathon task to control her. While she slept peacefully, I put her on in my shoulder, kept my left hand around her leg to hold her and used my right hand as a shield in front of me so that nobody comes and falls on her as is the usual case with these queues. She kept saying “GOINDA GOINDA” whenever we asked her to. 15th April was anti polio day, so there was a counter inside the Mahadwaram where Chittu had her polio drops

We had been to Tirupathi many a times, but only this time we got to know about the shrine of Lord Narasimha in the first outer prakaram of the sanctum sanctorum. Also there is a stone where you can write your prayers and they are believed to be fulfilled. After a wonderful Darshan and whole hearted offering in the hundi, we came out after having sakkarai pongal / curd rice prasadam. J paati got the laddus for our ticket and we went back to the room, packed and started climbing down by 1 PM. There is a deer park on the way and we had a good look at the MAAN and took photographs too. Chittu was scared here also. Intentionally, I didn’t give anything for Chittu to eat as I was not sure if she would vomit again. But inspite of all the precautions, she puked when we had almost reached the plains. This time it was on thatha. We cleaned her up, stopped in a shady place for lunch and were back in Chennai by 6 PM with the same heart-in-mouth feeling :)

This is one of my best trips to Tirupathi barring that one water problem issue. Everything was so well planned and executed. Because we went on a weekend, we could have the Darshan from a very long distance only. A quick tip to people travelling from Chennai – Once you decide on the date, go to TTD @ T Nagar and get your thumb impression registered for Rs. 50 ticket (Sudarshanam). It is a kind of advance booking and there are a range of timings which are available for this ticket. You can select the time that you think would be convenient for you. If you go on a Tuesday / Wednesday, you can have laghu darshanam where in you can get even closer to the Lord. Also, going by this ticket would be faster as the number of counters available are minimal and they have multiple time slots in a day. Most importantly this ticket is not available once you reach Tirumala. In my opinion, this is even faster than the Rs. 300 darshan. When you book Darshan tickets, you can also book accommodation, but most of the times it would be full and you may have to make arrangements of your own. Also Arjitha Seva (Suprabhatam, Thomala, etc) tickets are sold at these counters 90 days in advance but you need to plan really well as there is a huge demand.

Falling Sick - ON & OFF

I have been postponing writing this particular post for a very long time – because these wouldn’t give me any bit of enjoyment. But how long can I procrastinate? So here we go

Chittu had her Measles vaccination by August end 2011, the day before we shifted. That was Chittu’s last consultation with Dr. S. Once we shifted to the new house, I had to change her pediatrician, as Dr.S’s clinic was too far off and it was impossible to take her during emergency. The main reason behind choosing Dr.C was that

• From what I heard from people he is one of the best pediatricians in the area
• He runs a 24hr child care hospital
• He gives appointments both in morning & evening. His last appointment is around 10 PM – very useful for people like me who come late from office
• He gives appointments on Sunday mornings too – a rare phenomenon

Once we were back from P & PK’s wedding on September 3^rd 2011 evening – Chittu was all OK. Suddenly around 7 PM she started crying profusely, completely uncontrollable, not calming down even when I fed her and was churning out of my hands. I did not know what to do and tried to soothe her by all possible means. She was in that peak stage for 10 full minutes after which she was OK all by herself and slowly temperature started increasing. I took her to SD akka’s pediatrician Dr. KA, whose clinic was very close to our house. Chittu was all normal when we took her to the doctor but for the temperature. The doc said the crying was probably because of stomach pain and gave her Neopeptine drops. Dr. KA also said that she wouldn’t be available the next day (Sunday) and gave Dr. C’s reference if there is something urgent. I gave her Crocin and the new drops and she was fine.

The next morning temperature had shot up and we decided not to wait and booked an appointment with Dr. C. That was our first consultation and there was a long queue, but he was handling the kids very patiently and listening to whatever we said. He prescribed Ziprax for fever, T Minic for cold, Grilinctus BM (Paediatric) for wet cough. He also asked us to continue with Crocin and Nasoclear. J paati was concerned with Chittu’s underweight and asked him for some vitamin drops. But he said, as long as she is active and playing, we should not bother about her weight. He also said, she is extremely active and whatever she takes in gets burnt up very soon. And one more reason could be the genes as I am of thin stature. Still he prescribed Astymin-C & Zincovit. Also these days Chittu was crying uncontrollably for 10-15 minutes in the night at around 11.30 PM. The first time I was so scared – K paati was also not there as she had gone for her brother's mourning - that I called J paati in the midnight to come home and check what was going on. By the time Paati arrived, Chittu calmed down and was all normal. She did so for atleast 3-4 days so we took her to a mosque and got her mandhirichufied by the Muslim priest there.

U mami said it could be because of an evil spirit as the house was located near the track & many mishaps could have happened and the spirits could be roaming around. She even went to the extent of trying to prove her theory by saying, the house was locked for 6 months, why didn’t people come and occupy a house that was so close to the railway station for such a long time. To top it all, she said spirits are scared to come near her (sarcastically..Even spirits?? :P) and because they are unable to attach to your baby they are making her cry. I didn’t believe an iota because I don’t have faith in spirits, I knew the house was locked down by the owner as he as shifting slowly and got the house whitewashed and all. After a few days, she was OK and all normal.

I had given clear cut instructions to U mami as to what medicine and how much quantity had to be given to Chittu and I should say she followed it pretty religiously (dhideernu dhaan paithiyam pidichuduthu) Thatha had bought a digital thermometer and I taught her how to measure the temperature too. I thought Chittu’s fever was kind of OK when on 8^th September all of a sudden U maami called me at 2 PM when I was in office and said Chittu is having 102 degrees temperature, she had been giving wet towel bath continuously but the fever wasn’t subsiding. I was clueless, had a very important deliverable for the day and few meetings. I advised her to continue giving wet towel bath, cancelled the meetings, completed my deliverable by 4 & started from office. I also called her many times in between to check the status and she said it was getting better but not OK. When I reached home, Chittu was playing and there was no sign of temperature. I didn't want to take chance and so anyways booked an appointment. Dr. C advised not to let the temperature cross 101 at any cost as some babies are prone to get fits. He asked to continue the course and asked me to monitor the temperature and if it crosses 101 had given a series of tests to be taken. Fortunately that time, we didn’t have to take tests.

By mid October, fever shot up again to the same level. Couple of my friend’s kids were down with dengue and I didn’t want to take any chances. We took the same prescription and got all the tests done except the urine routine as it was very difficult to do it with such a small baby. Chittu cried like anything and I felt someone hit my heart with an axe and twisted it. But sorry kiddo, I had to do it for your good health only. The test results came out normal. Dr.C asked me why I had to rush like that when he didn’t even prescribe, but when I told him my fear of dengue, he gave me a look of understanding and said not to worry. This time he gave Cefoprox and asked me to take precaution by covering Chittu completely and making sure there are not rashes / severe mosquito bites. The moment I saw a rash, I was supposed to take her the hospital immediately. Thank God, nothing of that sort happened.

End of October, she had a bad cold and was crying whenever NSK mama tried to kiss her. We thought mama’s beard was irritating her. We were going for 7-aum arivu movie that night when J paati gave her dinner. While wiping the mouth again she started crying profusely. Then we thought may be she was teething. The next morning I was casually checking her ears when I saw a small amount of pus swelling out. That day was S’s chithi’s house sumangali prarthanai. I said, I will come late and let S & K paati go there early. I took her to Dr.C and he said it is because of severe cold and gave her Advent. She was also nebulised once so that she is able to breathe comfortably and Nasoclear had to be given regularly. And all was well in a couple of days. Because she was falling sick frequently, J paati & thatha took her to a homeopathy doctor to increase her resistance power and to increase her apetite. That kind of stabilized her health. Though cold was there ON and OFF. We manage with Cetzine, T-minic, Nasoclear. Throughout Hyderabad trip, she had a bad cold and we took all immediate necessary actions to make sure she didn’t suffer much and thankfully she was all OK. December beginning again, she had a bad cold and Asthalin & Omnacortil was prescribed additionally to have immediate relief

Somehow or the other, we had to visit the doctor atleast once a month. January 1^st 2012 – New year was Thatha’s star birthday. He was starting 60 and we had a small homam at J paati’s home to celebrate it – Ugra ratha shanthi. I stayed with Chittu at J paati’s house on 31^st night. The cot was occupied by Appu athimber as he cant lie down. It was raining heavily couple of days before and the ground water level was very high. We had to sleep on the floor, so I had made a superb bed for Chittu to make sure she is not feeling chill a bit. The next day morning dawned beautifully. Chittu woke up, took bath, dressed up in the beautiful pattu pavadai that S perimma had gifted. Things were good until I gave her morning breakfast – idly. She puked the idly bits along with the milk she had in the morning. I rushed to the nearby pharmacy and bought Domstal and gave her the dose. She puked that too. A little later, we gave her water, even that came out instantly. Needless to say, I was scared. So another visit to the hospital was on the New Year day. Dr. C is a Christian and so was on vacation. The duty doctor there said an injection was necessary and administered Vomiset. She asked us to give her Pedialyte to keep her away from dehydration and Domstal dose everytime before food (kanji / semi solid food). Chittu gave us a tough time by not having pedialyte / water. But somehow we tricked and made sure atleast she was having water. It took 4-5 days for her to be back to normal, but definitely it was a wise decision to take her to the hospital on 1^st Jan. Otherwise, things would have been worse and we may have been forced to admit her in the hospital. I initially thought of taking off on 2^nd Jan, but because it was the first working day of the year worked from home. 3^rd onwards she was kind of stable and SM was able to handle.

Later, J paati took her again to Homeopathy doctor near our house and definitely the medicines that she had prescribed helped in building Chittu’s resistance and we went to the hospital only once in the next 5 months – that too because Chittu had a minor sprain for reasons unknown. This was in mid February when she wasn’t walking properly, no signs of pain though and we are guessing it should be because she put the lock on her leg as she was frequently playing with it at that time. Doctor gave Ibugesic  and within 2 days she was running around as usual. A generic observation on Dr. C is that majority of the times he prescribes suspensions - ie the medicine would be in powder form in a small bottle and it would have distilled water that we'll have to mix and shake.

So sum it all, Sep 2011 – Jan 2012 was a rough phase as far as Chittu’s health is concerned. She didn’t gain much weight because of this and even till now, she hasn’t reached thrice her birth weight L I am also to be blamed as I didn’t give her Astymin C or Zincovit properly because of my absent mindedness :@ But better late than never, now we are giving her Longifene for inducing hunger to make her eat more and Visenerol Z which is a Vitamin drops. In my opinion, kids should never fall sick. It is difficult for them to put up with the pain and they can’t express it much too. And worse for helpless parents, being unable to do anything about the kids’ hardships other than to sit and monitor and giving medicines.

Hits & Misses

We have had a number of subsequent losses in the immediate and extended family during the time period from August – October 2011. K paati moved in to the new house with us and had to immediately go to S perippa’s house for almost a month to attend the rituals.

V athimber (U athai’s hubby) – He was about to complete 60. A very nice gentleman who had offered us a lot of help out of his way. He was a Tamil pundit at Hindu Senior Secondary school. He took voluntary retirement owing to his health issues a couple of years back and was undergoing dialysis for the past few months. On August 14^th, Mylu athai had come to our house and casually called U athai when she said that athimber was admitted in Hindu Mission as he had breathing trouble on Saturday late night. They did not get an auto / cab in midnight and had to take him in a cycle rickshaw. She said he was OK then and they might discharge him on 15^th. We wanted to go and see him on 15^th either in the hospital or at his house once he was discharged. The next morning when we were getting ready we got a call from V athai that he is serious and the doctors had asked to inform kith and kin. I called up his younger son HK and he said, things were bad then but are much better now. But anyways we wanted to reach there as early as possible. Leaving Chittu with U mami, me, S, K paati, B athai, Mylu athai & V anna went to the hospital. He was in a critical stage. He had 3 continuous attacks from morning and when he had the 3^rd attack at 1 PM, the doctors lost hope and we lost him right in front of our eyes around 2.15 PM L His elder son SR was coming from Bangalore and reached at 3.30 or so. His daughter M akka was in Kerala and rushed all the way in a cab inspite of her pregnancy and reached the next day morning. V athimber was the son of a sastrigaL and always volunteered to arrange for GuNdu SastrigaL (for our gruhavapravesam & seemantham), found auspicious dates for various occasions and treats S as his own son. S used to say that all the good marks that he got in 10^th was because of his tutelage. V athimber did not have much peace of mind in his last few days because of an irritating and hard hearted elder daughter-in-law (though there were some mistakes from his side too), an uncaring and insensitive elder son SR. May V athimber’s SOUL rest in peace. His younger son HK is getting married today (17^th Feb 2012) in Vadapalani Murugan temple. Both me & S are not going to the wedding – me because I don’t approve of it, as the girl doesn’t belong to our caste and he is going to leave his mother alone and settle down at the girl’s place as veetoda maapiLLai. S will not be going because he has a training to attend. Both of us will attend the evening reception.

Rangamani mama – S’s own mama (K paati’s elder brother) He should be around 75 and was identified of bone cancer very recently and did not suffer too much. He is survived by his wife T who had undergone amputation early in 2011. They do not have children. I haven’t interacted much with them as I have a mindset that they are too stingy and try to extract as much as possible from others. But whatever it is, LOSS is LOSS. May his soul rest in peace too

Gurukainkaryamani Mr. MS – B athai’s father-in-law aged 70 years. He was also undergoing dialysis and was getting on and off the hospital multiple times, but the final time, he didn’t make it home all fit as usual. He is survived by his wife, elder son & daughter-in-law (B athai), elder grandson (M anna), younger son, daughter-in-law and grandson, a daughter, son-in-law and grandson. May his soul rest in peace

MR. MPN  - J paati’s best friend ML aunty’s hubby. Another one who was about to complete 60. He is an extremely fit person and we did not even expect it. He goes to Sabarimalai every year, is not obese, a tee totaller, pure vegetarian. He complained of chest pain and was admitted in a local hospital. J paati had visited him on 20^th October and he was sounding OK, saying these people are creating a big fuss over nothing. The cardiologist there advised him to be transferred to MMM and things just happened in a whiz and he was no more on October 25^th 2011 – Tuesday evening (the day before Diwali). He is survived by his wife, son & daughter. May his soul rest in peace

I did not take Chittu for any of the last rites (even on the 13^th day) as I was not very comfortable.

Additions to the family

Master Vaibhu born on 21^st December 2011 – H akka’s son -  a cute bundle who is a photocopy of his dad. I’m curious to know how 5 year old Vibhu akka is reacting towards her younger brother. Need to talk to V athai soon. She left to the US for H akka’s delivery on 12^th Dec 2011 – a day after Chittu’s aayushyahomam

Baby Manu born on 11^th December 2011 – M akka’s younger daughter – a tall baby who has an extremely affectionate 5 year old sister SD akka who always wants to do everything by herself for the baby. U athai & M akka have their hearts in mouth during those times, but they can’t deny it to her as it might increase possessiveness or invoke sibling rivalry.

One more post to go….and I should be up to date. I am utilizing my travel time effectively J *pats myself on the back* J

Tit Bits

Chittu is completely bottle fed now. I stopped nursing once she completed 10 months in September 2011. She had pretty sharp teeth and bit me many a times in glee or unintentionally that I decided enough was enough. She didn’t make a big fuss about the weaning as I had the bottle ready, the moment she was feeling restless during sleep. It had been Aavin all along, just that during the Trichy trip I gave her Arjun brand milk as Aavin Tetrapack was not available. Luckily she did not show any signs of allergy (The puking was with Aavin milk K )

She mostly sleeps throughout the night, though a little erratic. Initally, after having her night milk at 10 PM, she used to cry for milk at around 1 AM and again at 5 AM. After a month or so, the pattern changed – It was 10 PM and after that 5 AM. Again after another month, cycle changed – 11PM – 3 AM – 6 AM. Now for the past 1 month it is 11PM – 5.30 AM. It doesn’t really depend upon how full her stomach is during the nights. I don’t know what is the influencing factor. May be that is why they say – As I mentioned in A&A’s blog – Raising kids is not an easy job!! During the nights, boiling the milk is my duty and holding the bottle is S’s duty. And night milk – I avoid sugar to get her used to it too. I am trying to graduate her from bottle to sipper without any luck.

V athai gave Chittu a 3 wheeler cycle – handed down by S paapa (Let us call her Shibu from now on). Chittu loves the cycle and we go rounds inside the house / terrace. She would be delighted & grinning wide once we move it as she doesn’t know to pedal yet. All 4 athais together had presented her a silver thandai & anklets for her aayushyahomam. Chittu had outgrown the first pair of anklets that they had given during the puNyavaajanam. Then I put on the ones that my best friend A had gifted. She lost one of it in the month of October. So, she was roaming around without anything on her ankles for sometime. Now the thandai & new anklets su are fitting her perfectly & it has a lot of salangai and she is all jal jal jal. Btw, she knows to point to golusu, thodu, chain, valayal – my folks say she is proving the fact that she is a girl. She has another pair in stock gifted by T paati for the aayushyahomam. Aayushyahomam photos too have come out really very very well. Photographer uncle had taken great efforts to make it the best and it is worth Rs.8000 that we paid him. He had given a laminated photo of me, S and Chittu looking at which she keeps saying PAAPAA, PAAPAA.

She is a pro now with the bike savaari. After our house shift, J paati & NSK mama would pick her on the way home in the evening and Chittu used to go there (Activa) play there. Later me & S would go in the bike (Scooty Pep +) and pick her back home. With the N number of shuttles, she has got adapted to it easily and can even stand in the front holding on to the front panel guards. Just that I am scared that I don’t encourage it too much. These shuttles reduced a great deal from November as winter had started and there was a lot of chill wind. So S picked her up when he came back from office by car. Her first electric train journey was to Mambalam when I had taken her for a Narayaneeyam parayanam. And the first MTC bus journey was in 21G when we were returning from my friend Mayee’s baby shower.

I had to go to Pune for an official trip in the month of January for 2 days (23^rd & 24^th January 2012) J paati had assured that she would take care of Chittu. We had gone for 3 night shows (7aum arivu, Raajapaatai & Nanban) leaving her with J paati, but I would always be there at her bedside when she woke up the next morning. But I was not sure how she would react without seeing me for 2 full days. So I started training her from a week before by making her sleep with her dad. She was an angel & cruised through those 2 days without a hitch. May be it was easier for her as I go to office for long hours. I was proud of my cutie pie, but at the same time a corner of the heart ached that she didn’t miss me at all.

With the onset of winter, we have bought Chittu a pair of monkey caps & a sweatshirt. I had always wanted a girl baby as there are a variety of dresses that I can put on her and enjoy. All that is coming true with Chittu wearing beautiful pavadai chattai, cut choli, pedal pushers, tops & shorts (especially the pink one NSK mama had bought for Pongal), mini skirt with and without overcoat, leg ins, etc, etc.

Potty training is on. Again not much improvement there. When I ask her where should she be going choo choo, she shows the restroom, but is still not able to proactively inform us. But we are taking her there at regular intervals, so the number of soiled nappies for the day have tremendously reduced.

When I come back from office she shows a sign of delight, looks at me as says “DAI” (I used to say that to her whenever I come back from office, and now even before I say, she says) I pick her up (If someone stops her way, she cries and makes sure she comes to me) and kiss her, she enjoys it and the next moment she wants to get back to what she was doing. In sharp contrast, some other times, she is very clingy. She hugs our knees and wants her to be lifted. My heart just melts and all that I do immediately is pick her and give a tight hug & kiss. Those times, she doesn’t even want to be away from us. Poor child! She knows the art of kaLLa azhugai and when we don’t lift her, she demonstrates that. There are kids in the opposite house and whenever our door is open, she walks into their house calling akka, aNNa. But those kids don’t even bother much about Chittu, which hurts me a lot. But I can’t blame them too. They are too young to understand certain things. I prevent Chittu from going to their house but she just wouldn’t listen.

Jhonny Jhonny fill up the blanks has changed now. We should now stop at Telling lies no papa and pause when Chittu would say “OPE YOUR” Then we say Open your mouth and she would very slowly say HA HA HA.  Every other car is her appa’s car. When she wakes up in the mornings, she gets down from the bed crying (surprisingly at times smiling) and walks into the living room. When she comes crying to me, I ask her “appa enna ma paNNinaa?” The standard reply is “ACHI”. I don’t know why she says this because atleast I give her a pat when she terribly hurts me by pulling the hair or pinching or biting, but S never even raises his hand. She picks a lot of words like bump (jump) , puppy, but doesn’t remember them or knows to use them contextually. Response for most of the questions are oriented towards her – Naan, enakku, etc. But at times for some embarrassing question, she might do an andharbulty and say Amma / Appa J Very clever J

We bought her a pair of green, sound making slippers on 6^th January 2012. It was slightly big for her but she has got used to it now. We have also bought a pair of white shoes (with the same gift voucher that my colleagues had gifted) and she is extremely comfortable with that. Chittu has started brushing her teeth since October. She refuses to show the 4 teeth in her upper jaw and that is a challenge for me every morning. I am yet to buy her a flavored toothpaste. On second thoughts, I feel may be the paste would motivate her to show the teeth??!!

Other Functions graced by Chittu

• SKS’s engagement & reception. Reception was a grand ceremony held in Radisson Temple Blu Resort, Mamallapuram. The dinner was arranged in the lawns and Chittu ran around for 1.5 hours continuously without showing an inch of tiredness in her face. We met my favorite tamil author Ramani Chandran there
• S’s school mate Venaktesan’s wedding
• Cham perippa’s friend R’s engagement
• My colleage M’s baby shower
• I akka’s engagement

Mottai No. 2

Chittu has a lot of mottais lined up - some mandatory and few prarthanais. And given that she is a girl child, we want to finish them all as early as possible. They say 3 days is enough between 2 mottais, but I am not convinced. I don’t want to offer something just for the sake of it. Me & S have decided that it should be 1.5 to 2 months minimum. So we planned for the next trip on 2^nd February 2012. We decided it pretty late and all train tickets got booked. So we decided to go by bus. K paati decided not to come as she finds bus journeys tedious. But she dutifully prepared the maavilakku dough and gave. We dropped her at S perippa’s house on 2^nd morning. Thatha was in Delhi for a meeting and returning on 4^th morning only. So J paati, thatha & mama said they will join us on 4^th night or 5^th early morning. I went and bought the vasthrams on 31^st Jan. Had a meeting till 7.30 PM on 1^st Feb. So started early from office on 2^nd, came home, did the packing and had dinner at J paati’s house. Itinerary as below:

2^nd February 2012 (Thursday): Start from home at 10 PM, Take a train and go to Perungalathur, board KPN Travels sleeper bus at 11:10 PM

Notes: The bus was so damn comfortable. Chittu slept immediately and got up promptly when we got down at 4.30 in the morning. S decided that wherever we go, if sleeper bus is available, we should opt for that J

3^rd February 2012 (Friday –Thai veLLikizhamai): Get down at Chathram bus stand in Trichy at 4.30 AM, go by walk to Appu athimber’s house, take little rest, get ready. Go to Manakkal temple, put mavilakku, abhishekam, lunch @ Vijaya’s house, return to Big thatha’s (my perippa) house (Let us call him Sam thatha from now on) @ Srirangam. In the evening darshan Ranganathar, Thayar, Utsavar periya perumal in Yaanai vaahanam, Dhanvanthri bhagawan, BOP from Andal for Chittu and stay at Sam’s.

I want to write down the names of the saptha kannigaigaL in the Manakkal temple as we tend to forget everytime. This would serve as a reference for me to teach Chittu when she grows up. Here we go – in as is sequence – Braamhi, Maheshwari, Vaishnavi, Kaumaari (Manakkayi / Nangai amman) Varaahi, Indraani, Chaamundi

Notes: We had an absolute darshan at Manakkal & abhishekam was performed sincerely. Sam paati helped a great deal in arranging for the maavilakku by mixing the flour, bringing pooja articles, etc. The maavilakku glowed for quite sometime without any hindrance and I gave vethalai paaku to a few of them who had gathered there. Chittu was running all around and was excited by the huge elephant and horse structures in the temple premises. She even slipped slightly where the granite platform ended and the concrete platform was used for the ignorable area in corners. Both the platforms were not at the same height and they had filled it sand to match it, but still there was a light difference and Chittu slipped there. Thankfully, she didn’t get hurt and didn’t cry too

Sam thatha had bought a beautiful and extremely convenient & secure house at a newly developed gated community in Srirangam and did the gruhapravesam on 2^nd Sep 2011. We couldn’t attend the function as it clashed with P akka’s wedding. Everytime something else or the other comes up and we have not been able to attend any of their functions. Soma chithi’s wedding happened when S was hospitalized and was in the ICU in 2007. Soma chithi’s seemantham was in Jan 2008 but we had just then visited Trichy few days back, so couldn’t make it again. I was so damn guilty as my perippa is such a nice man & very loving and affectionate towards me. He took the responsibility of finding a good & safe PG and settling me down in Bangalore way back in April 2006. So I wanted to spend a good time at his place this time.

Being a Friday, there was a lot of crowd in the Srirangam temple. So we took a special entrance ticket in both perumal & thayar sannidhis for Rs. 50 & Rs. 10 respectively. We got a chance to see Yaanai vaahanam too & periya perumaL was glittering on top of the sliver elephant. It was being lifted by devotees, but the speed was remarkable & smooth that it looked like being pulled by a hydraulic. Sam paati said, yaanai vahanam is too heavy and they carry it very fast and do not stop anywhere.

4^th February 2012 (Saturday): Lazy morning, get up late, relax, wash, bathe, have lunch, take rest. In the evening - darshan @ Selva vinayagar temple within the apartment complex, Samayapuram & Thiruvanaikkovil. On the way back pick up Thatha, J paati & S mama (I’ll call him NSK from now on…too many S and it is confusing) who had come by Pallavan Express and back to Sam’s

Notes: Sam thatha had asked for an autowala to come in the evening to go around places. But the autowala came with a Maruti Omni saying, it has been 3-4 days since he took the vehicle out and the battery would go down. So he would take us in Omni for the cost of an auto. Look at Chittu’s luck J In Samayapuram thiruppaNi was happening, so all special entrance tickets were issued outside near the main entrance. And one cannot do a complete pradakshinam too as the northern side of the prakaram was completely closed off. We took Rs. 25 ticket and had a quick darshan in 15 minutes. Magamaayi was glittering as usual with merciful eyes. In Thiruvanaikovil we got Rs.10 entrance ticket so that we can go close to Akilandeswari amman. Man! Her feet look so damn real as if someone is literally standing in front of us. Had a very good darshan and at Jambukeshwarar sannidhi, the ticketing guy had already closed the accounts, so allowed us to go free of cost inside the shrine. Chittu had a great time in the big & long prakarams running like anything. She wouldn’t catch hold of any of our hands, nobody should lift her, she will not follow our way, rather we should be following her way. She learnt to climb up & down the big steps by catching hold of the nearby pillar / sculpture and carefully placing down the foot on the floor and then removing the hand and running away. She was in an uncontrollable state and enjoying the vast area as it was all hers.

5^th February 2012 (Sunday): Mottai @ ThiNNiyam, Abhishekam, Anbil darshan, ManakkaL again as J paati & thatha couldn’t come on Friday, Lunch @ Vijaya’s house, Stop over at Sam’s, pack and leave to Appu’s, board KPN Travels Volvo at 11:20 PM at Chatharam bus stand

Notes: Chittu woke up & we started on time. Sam paati had ordered for idlys and we collected them on the way. We were about to start having it after crossing the Cauvery bridge when J paati passed on Chittu from the middle to the backside where me& S were sitting. As soon as she came to me, she just puked out all the milk she had early in the morning. Didn’t know if it was indigestion or if the milk was not good (there are frequent power cuts in Trichy) though it didn’t show any signs of it when J paati had boiled. We stopped over, cleaned and she was all OK and smiling. But still I didn’t want to take chances and bought Domstol and Savlon (for after the mottai) in a medical shop near Thiruvanaikovil. We were late to the ThiNNiyam temple and the gurukkaL & the other party who had also given for abhishekam were waiting for us. As soon as we reached, the barber was ready and the mundan process started in the platform to the left of the temple. As usual, NSK mama had Chittu on his lap and S caught hold of her hands. She cried as always as someone was doing something to her which she couldn’t see.

The temple attendant had arranged for hot water for Chittu. But it had a red color stuff floating all over. I got it filtered, but still it was there. But no other option, so I had to use the same water saying “Kandhan uNdu kavalai illai” By the time NSK mama & S got ready, the abhishekam had started as the other party had to go elsewhere and had waited for quite long. So half the abhishekam was done before NSK came and almost 3/4^th was done before S came in. I felt very sad they couldn’t be there from the beginning, but what to do? I prayed my heart out to Lord SubramaNya – our family diety for health, wealth, courage, strength, patience and a long happy life. Santhanagopla Swamy temple which is pretty near was closed by the time we were out of the Murugan temple. So we were off to catch a glimpse of Anbil Mmaariamman. The temple was too crowded and the uchi kaalam abhishekam was going on. Me and Chittu were crushed and I couldn’t stand for beyond 10 minutes. So stood on my toes, had a darshan & came out with Chittu for her to get some fresh air. There were a lot of goats roaming around and Chittu kept saying GOAT…GOAT and even touched one with great courage J As soon as she touched it, there was a sense of achievement on her face J

Later, we went to Manakkal temple. It is a common graama dheivam for both my family & S’s family. So J paati & thatha wanted to go there as we had come all the way. Abhishekam was happening there too and we had a nice time & were off to Vijaya’s house for lunch.

All in all it was a pleasant trip. Sam thatha had arranged for a Tavera on both the days to accommodate 9 adults + 1 kid. It was home made food all along for 3 days. Chittu had great fun and enjoyed all the attention. Sam thatha’s apartment had wide corridors, she ran at her free will. She had breakfast, lunch and dinner in the corridor running and eating. She attracted the neighbors there too. DIFT (Lift, she means) was her favorite and she kept running towards it and I had to be extremely careful because the hand rails were too broad – broad enough that Chittu can crawl inside and we were in the 2^nd floor. Our usual jam packed Trichy schedule was highly relaxing this time as we were conscious enough not to have so many items in the agenda as we were travelling with a baby. We started that night - contented and satisfied. Chittu slept on me in the bus and didn’t give any problems. I was skeptic as to how she would behave (onward was in sleeper, so nothing different from a train) but she was a darling. We got down near our house at 4.45 AM the next day.

S gave everyone a shock of life when he was nearly hit by a mini truck. The signal for pedestrians was GREEN and for the vehicles was RED. S is a person who abides by traffic rules to the dot. But the truck driver was not bothered to follow the signal as it was early in the morning. Fortunately he saw it in the last fraction of second and backed off. THANK GOD!!!! I did not get to see it in close quarters as I had already crossed the road with Chittu. But J paati, thatha and NSK mama had literally hearts in their mouth and almost shouted. Be careful, S! You are the centre point and all our lives revolve around you.

Chittu was still sleeping when we reached home. J paati took the traditional haarathi and all of us slept for a couple of hours. I was working from home that day as SM was on leave. S got ready and was about to leave when Chittu woke up and started playing with him. He lost all mood to work and took off and all of us had a good time together J

Vishamakaara kaNNan

This post is exclusively about the vishamams that Chittu does

We have an old traditional yet sturdy wooden computer table at home. It has a wooden keyboard tray and 3 draws. Chittu is tall enough to take everything from the keyboard tray and throw them off. She knows to open all 3 draws and K paati is all eyes once she goes near the table out of the fear that she would either scatter the things away / hurt her fingers by keeping them inside & closing the draw. The keyboard tray is clean to a certain extent until her hand reaches out.

Our TV table has two shelves below to keep the DVD player and speakers, etc. It has a double door glass cover which can be pushed to hit a magnet to open or close. Chittu is a master of that act and kept opening the door and meddling with player. One day (16^th Oct 2011 – I had the photo J) she removed every other thing except the player from those shelves, crawled inside and had great fun much to the amusement of herself and for us. At one stage she was frequently opening the door, like more than 100 times a day and it was becoming uncontrollable that we decided to stop watching DVD and turned the table the other side which was closed completely but for the hole for the wires to enter. She tried a lot putting her hand inside the hole, but couldn’t do anything. Now after a couple of months, she has forgotten (or mature enough? ;)) about the door opening, that we have turned it back to normal form

As for dressing table doors are concerned, we have told her there is poochi inside. And whenever we have to take something from inside, in front of her, we take it and shout in pain as if the insect bit us. So she dares not going near the dressing table

During the Mysore trip, on our return, she bit thatha hard. Hard enough that the mark of her tooth was imprinted on his shoulder. He was literally scared to lift her the entire day J

During the Hyderabad trip, we had brought two cups of coffee in a thermosflask from home – S & K paati had it once the train moved. Me & J paati wanted to have coffee badly and as soon as the first coffeewala came I stopped him and ordered 2 coffees. Chittu was standing on the seat and I was holding her in one hand so that she doesn’t fall down. J paati was sitting next to her taking out the money. The coffeewala gave me one superhot coffee, I turned and said “Amma, Please hold Chittu first, I will keep the coffee on the makeshift table, otherwise she might grab it” I did not even finish my sentence and even before that she had banged at the coffee and it fell on J paati’s shoulders. She almost started crying because of the severe burning sensation. Thankfully there were no blisters and Holy Heavens! It did not fall on Chittu!!! All of us were around my mom asking what had happened. Chittu did not have a clue and was looking at her face and calling Paaa….Paa. Now what do we do with this mischievous yet sweet angel?

On her DOB – 23^rd November, after all the guests had left, J paati & thatha were about to leave. She was all excited after having an eventful day and jumping around. I was checking her diaper when she bit me real hard on the left shoulder. I just couldn’t control and in a reflex action gave her a beating and both of us started crying. I couldn’t bear the pain at all and J paati took out a little sunnambu and put it on my shoulder when Thatha was consoling her. I had the soreness for the next half an hour and pain it took 4 full days for the pain to subside and the mark was gone only after a week or so. Thatha said “MuRpagal seyying piRpagal viLayaum” as I was quite notorious for biting everyone – including ne, ighbour’s kids, cousins, my grandfather, et al.

She picks things from the dustbin…Yuck!! We change the location, still she manages to find it somehow. And when we take if off from her, she cries like anything. A new habit she has acquired is rolling on the floor and crying. She doesn’t do it always, but at times, yes. From whom did she pick it up?? I seriously don’t know.

She climbed from a small wooden table that we have to the recliner to the center table to the keyboard tray to the computer table. Remember? Kurangil irundhu pirandhavan manidhan

She knows to climb on the recliner and all she wants to do is jump to the other side. She hangs to the headrest and shoots up the BP of K paati

Her morning time play stuff is the basket of washed utensils kept in the kitchen. She picks all the vessels, ladles, lunch boxes and strews them all over the kitchen.

It is a task to make her forget something. Once she went into the bedroom and took out her medicines which I had kept in a small basket. I took her out of the bedroom and she went back inside. I blocked her way and she took the right deviation and went right to those medicines.

She cries at times in the nights for nothing and refuses to go to sleep. I am unable to avoid the slight beating (though it doesn’t hurt in anyways) at those times and when she displays her stubborn attitude or when she hurts me.

More vishamams to continue...

Chittu-va paaru...Hey! Talking Talking

I am writing down the backlog posts, but Chittu is talking a lot of new words that I have to write a post every single day to make sure I don’t miss anything. Every other day, she has something fresh to flaunt about.

• Once she sees potatoes in the kitchen, she takes one in each hand, presses them to her cheeks and says POA-TUT-O with all smiles
• She can identify and say onion too – just that it is AANIA for her with lesser stress on N
• We have a miniature of Burj Al Arab, Dubai. When we show that and ask her what it is, she says “BUTCH” (as in butcher)
• Looking at the Singapore souvenir she says AYAN (It has nothing to do with Surya-Tamanna starrer, but it is lion for us)
• She can identify and call out MONKEY, PAYI (palli – lizard), KOYI (kozhi – hen)
• She was calling cat as miyaa sometime back, but now for no reason she calls it MUM!!!
• SM had taught her to say NAANAA (Narayana) PAA with both index fingers raised in balle balle style (Panduranga) and AACHI (not Manorama, it is Ummachi)
• SM had also trained her on NAMTHE (Namasthe) which she says with both hands clasped like a traditional Indian girl :P
• Another feather on SM’s cap, whenever we ask her “Amma samayal eppdi maa irundhudhu?” Bang comes the prompt reply POOPER (Super) Amma can be replaced with appa, paati, thatha, mama, the answer would be the same. Like saththam “Samayal” is the key word here too
• Chittu can now spashtamaa call out J paati’s name, as if she did the naamakaranam. Whenever we show my mom’s photo / whenever calling bell rings, she exclaims J paati by name. In person she alternates between paati and the name. Oh yeah, She can now say PAATI, but switches between aati & paati as per her wish
• KAACHI is coffee
• Whenever we are preparing food for her and ask her for whom it is, earlier she would say “Naan Naan” but it is changed to EKKU (Enakku) now. What an improvement J
• When we say Love you…to her, she can reply A OOOO
• She picks the phone and presses some buttons (dialing) and keeps it in her ear and says “ABOO, AARI?” (Hello, yaaru?)
• In Srirangam temple, the elephant Andal blessed Chittu with her trunk. Chittu just loved it and enjoyed by patting (rather beating J) the elephant’s trunk. From then on, when we ask her Aaanai enna ma paNNithu? She keeps her hand on her head, scratches ;) and says “BOP”. She does BOP for all of us
• When someone says thank you to her, she says it back THA KOO. When we ask her to say welcome she says “AKKAM”. But akkam can mean drinking water too. Drinking water is also THOOTHAA (depends on the mood you see). Tap water is THANYI (thaNNi) Whenever she goes to the restroom / bathroom she points to the tap and says THANYI
• Q: Amma / Appa enga ma poyirukka?

A: AATCH (Office)

• She was not saying it before but only actioning by shaking her hands, but now with the action she can say KAANUM
• Q: Dress pottukalanaa ellarum enna solluvaa?

A: *closes her eyes with hands* CHAY CHAY (shame shame)

• BAPPAPP is laptop and when we shout “DON’T TOUCH” she can repeat it very clearly, but still goes ahead and bangs on the keyboard
• CHYCLE is cycle, CAAAA is car, CHOO is shoe, Bike is BIKE. She has seen
• Q: Vandi eppdi ma pogum?

A: *Folds her fingers and raises as if she is lifting dumbles* Burrrrrrrrr

• With the gift voucher that my colleagues had given we have bought a nursery rhymes CD (Apple Tree) and Chittu is fond of those rhymes. We say “mmm mmm black sheep” she smiles and says BAA BAA
• We catch hands and play Ring-a-Ring-a. I stop at “ALL FALL”, Chittu would sit and say DOWN. Off late, even before we come to ALL FALL, she is down J
• We also play aaku paaku vethala paaku. Similarly, I stop at kolaa koppara when she would shout gleefully KOYAA
• Jhonny Jhonny has to be stopped at Open your…she would complete OUTH (mouth) Then we have to repeat “Open your mouth” she would say HA HA HA
• I was completely surprised the other day when she was continuously hitting the laptop & I asked her “Unakku laptop-la bow vow kaatanumaa? Vendamaa?” sternly. I never expected her to respond but she paavamaa said “KAATU” :O
• When we open the zipper of her cloth shelf she shouts DECH (dress)
• Always she wants to go to the AACHA – vaasal i.e. outside
• When she gets hurt, she goes and hits the object that hurt her saying “ACHI” something she has picked from K paati. I am trying to change that to make the object ask Sorry & I say “Sorry Chittu” in a false voice and make her say “Thatz OK”. Not working out very well
• An addition to the parts of the body is she can point out KANU (eyes) and KAADHU (ears)
• Brushing the teeth is EEEEE
• Once for fun sake I hit her teeth with mine and she loved it. I called it pallu sandai (Teeth fight) and everytime she wants to do it, she comes next to me and says PAUU
• In between Thatha went to Delhi when J paati taught her, so  she knows DEYI
• She hits S mama at times saying POYA POYA. Not sure if it is podaa that she picked from one of us. Trying to change that habit too. Very tough once something gets registered in her mind
• She hits me and observes me keenly, I ask her how am I going to cry, she takes both knuckles to her eyes and makes “UUUUMMMM” sound with a sly smile & I have to tell her, it hurts and she shouldn’t do it. The understanding look that she gives comforts me, but again she would start sometime later
• She knows how people sneeze - HUTCH and how one burps - BURP
• When we ask for something, she can point out and say IDHO
• Whenever someone is sleeping, she would say in a hush voice THAACHI, but the very next moment she would go and wake them up
• When she wants something from us, she comes next to us, gives a sweet cum sorry look and asks THAAAAAA in a rising intonation
• She  can say her name J ATHATHA J
• Whenever we show any baby’s photo and ask her who it is, she says NAAN NAAN. We ask her who is Chittu, who is S, who is J, who is K, it is all NAAN NAAN (first naan in normal tone and second naan with a stress)
• She is fond of spectacles and at an unexpected moment she could throw them off the face. S’s glasses have borne the brunt for a million times now. S says “Kannadiya thotta adi” for which she would repeat ADDDI without knowing the meaning of it J
• She is trying to repeat and mouth every single word that we are saying unintentionally. So we have got to be very careful with what we speak. The other day she did something & I chellamaa konjified her “Naaye” and she repeated it. I was taken aback and slapped myself not to repeat at any cost.
• She goes poo poo and says AAI and closes her nose saying NAATHAM
• She has a raagam for anything and everything. Most of her words end with a rising intonation. And she applies stress to the last but one syllable in majority of what she speaks.

I observed that after her first birthday she is talking a lot more than usual. And the mottai doubled the pace – not only for the talks but also for vishamam & kurumbu. I am just loving and diving deep into all these situations enjoying each and every moment of it. Thank GOD for gifting me such a treasure and making her call me AMMA. Love you Chittu J

Rest in next

The Maami row

Chittu has a new baby sitter – SM starting 15^th November 2011. Ex-maami – U (T paati’s cousin’s daughter) started in April 2011 for a salary of Rs.3500 + commutation for baby sitting (9.30 AM – 6.15 PM) and preparing dinner. Saturdays I had asked her to come late around 10.30-11 and Sundays off. I had told her this is just the starting and as time goes on if both of us get along well, I will increase. In June, when I started going to office I wanted someone who could cook in the morning too. I tried many options, nothing worked out and finally I asked U and she too agreed for a salary of Rs.9000 + commutation with the same concept of Saturday late coming & Sunday off. S had been sponsoring for education of 1 school going kid every year. MS Sir who taught him in school used to recommend for a needy eligible kid for whom we used to pay the fees. This time around I thought we can give it to U’s son who was doing his 11^th std and we paid his fees of Rs. 4000 or something. She fell sick in the month of September during Navarathri time and took 10 days off. T paati took care of Chittu during that time. I felt pity for U and didn’t cut a penny from her salary. When I gave her September salary on October 1^st, she didn’t say a word and got her full month salary. Also, I am the kind of person who would never delay pay outs. On 1^st / max on 2^nd, I would give the pay – be it my maid / paperwala / whoever it is. Two reasons – one I will forget, two they work hard the whole month and when I am getting my salary on time, I need to pay them on time too. She was all good until October end and took good care of Chittu when she was sick in September and all.

She is always the kind of person who would never hit the nail. She would bring her hand around the head to touch the nose in sharp contrast to me where I am always straight forward and to the point. On October 29^th, she said she is finding it difficult to cook because we had only one pressure cooker and by the time the maid comes in the morning and washed it and gave it back to her for cooking, it was getting late. Also sometimes she had to cut vegetables in the morning (rather than the previous evening) and it was delaying the time taken for cooking. She already knew that I was looking for another pressure cooker and she herself had offered to buy it from a known person from military canteen. But the capacity there didn’t suit us, so we declined the offer. She also knew that I was going to purchase one that weekend from T.Nagar. I explained her all these again and asked her what her problem was? Then she asked me if I could give her a hike. I said it has not even been 6 months since I hiked her salary and it won’t be possible. I said may be I will consider it in April 2012. She said OK, if you can give that would be good, if you can’t that is also fine. I told her I will discuss with S also and keep her posted. End of topic, she left for the day

Monday morning she came in. I told her that I had discussed with S and he is of the same opinion for the hike. That weekend I had bought a new pressure cooker. So I told her that problem is solved. And I can make sure veggies are bought the previous day itself so that she can cut and keep them in the fridge, ready to be cooked the next day. She insisted that she wanted a hike. I was not OK with it and told her to stop coming in the mornings for cooking from the very next day. However I asked her to give me 1 month notice so that I can find an alternate for Chittu. Adults can adjust to any situation, kids can’t. She didn’t say anything. I was skeptic if she would come on 1^st November, but she came. I was supposed to give her salary that day, but my account credit came late on 31^st night I couldn’t withdraw. I withdrew the money on 1^st and had given to K paati to be given to U on 2^nd. She didn’t turn up until 10.15 AM on 2^nd. I was ready and waiting for her to come so that I can go to office. Her mobile was not reachable. I didn’t know what to do. She came around 10.15 and said there was so much traffic, that is the reason for delay. And there was no power in her home the previous night that the mobile battery was completely drained. I did not say a word and gave her usual instructions and was about to leave to office. She called out to me when I was wearing my slippers

U: Are you going to office now? Or are you go out somewhere else?

Me: Office. I am already late. Why?

U: I thought I can get the account closed today and leave

Me: But I had asked you to stay for 1 month for baby sitting alone.

U: I have got an offer to cook in the morning alone for 9000 Rupees. So I want to take it up

Me: *Thinking who that ilichavaayan is?* You have to understand. I gave you the reason behind it also that adults can adjust, It is unfair to ask Chittu also to adjust.

U: You may say 1 month, but there is no guarantee that I would get the same offer again

Me: You should have little humanity. I have to go to office and all of a sudden if you say like this, it would be difficult for me

U: I can’t see any kind of humanity here. It is all money

Me: *Already on my nerves & calming myself* You didn’t come for 10 days, I didn’t deduct a single rupee because anybody can fall sick at any time and I knew you did not do it wontedly.

U: You could have deducted at that time itself. I wouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t ask you to see humanity then

Me: I paid fees for your son too. I did that because I knew you and thought someone whom we know could get benefitted out of that

U: If you hadn’t given my son, you would have given it to someone else. It is anyways not an overhead for you. I stay in your house for 11 hours and that is why I am asking for more money

Me: *Irritated but not showing it out* Why did you agree for 9000 initially?

U: I though you yourself would increase it after 3-4 months. You didn’t. That is why I asked you. Even then you are not ready to increase. Even I am bringing my own breakfast & lunch. I stay in your house for 11 hours and that is why I am asking for more money

Me: *Catching hold of my patience* I already asked you to have breakfast & lunch here. It was your decision to pack & bring from home. And you are not staying in my house for 11 hours for charity. I am paying you

U: I am doing job more than the money you are paying. I am hanging the clothes for drying, plaiting your mil’s hair as she can’t owing to her fracture, etc

Me: *Sternly* You volunteered doing it, didn’t you? How many times I had hung the clothes for drying (on Saturdays) when you had asked me not to and you had snatched them from my hand and did the job?

U: I didn’t know that working in your house is like falling down into a deep dark pit.

Me: *Angrily* Then why did you come here? Who forced you to work here? Why did you agree to extend your work timings?

U: I didn’t know it initially. I realized it only after coming here

Me: *As a matter of fact* I think that is enough. I will pay your salary today. I will deduct the pay for 10 days leave you had taken in September. I will not see humanity to people who don’t know the meaning of it.

U: *Generously* No problem. You take the money, I don’t have any problem

Me: *Mockingly* Don’t act too smart. You are not showing any generosity to me. It is a justful deduction which I should have done 2 months back, but I’m doing it only now

U: *After getting the money, walks out, wearing her slippers* God is there. He is seeing everything. I know why you had given the salary in such a delayed manner

Me: Yeah, GOD is there and he is seeing everything. Even I know that and same is applicable to you. For me, Let him keep all my good deeds in credit & others in debit. And what do you mean as delay? Just 1 day. That too because my salary got credited a little late. How many days you had realized it was 1^st of the month only when I gave salary? You felt so happy on those days. And today, the 1 days seems too much for you.

U: Are you the kind of person who has to wait for salary to get money in hands

Me: *Furious* That doesn’t mean that I have to give away everything to you. I am really happy that I am not leaving my daughter with you when she gets to know clearly what is happening around her. Thankfully she is not mature enough to learn your habits. You may leave now.

She left the house shouting till the OUT gate saying I took off her hard earned money blah blah. I immediately called office and explained my manager the situation and told him I was going to work from home that day. It took 2-3 hours for my anger to get down. I have never had such a bitter experience with anyone that I decided to put Chittu in a day care and not believe in such people. Called up T paati & told her the whole episode. Retelecasted it many more times – to J paati, S, Thatha, Kutti thatha / paati, Big thatha / paati, Small thatha / paati. All of them advised that I shouldn't take such a decision in haste and it is always better to have the kid at home under elders' eyes rather than in a day care. If we were out of the country / if K paati was not there with us it wont be possible. Though K paati can't take care of Chittu full fledgedly, she can supervise, so I should utilize it properly was their point of view, which sounded reasonable to me after much analysis. U had also called T paati & said I am talking too much. T paati asked her, what did you say? For which she replied, I didn’t say a word. T paati sharply responded “She is not a fool to talk too much when you were keeping mum” U replied, “You will always support them” and disconnected the line & relationship with T paati. T paati’s daughters, son, daughter-in-law are all angry with U and for the 9000 for cooking alone statement they kept telling யாருக்கு காது குத்தறா அவ?”

But the bigger problem in front of me was “WHAT NEXT??” and it was haunting me like anything. T paati said, she was going to be there in Chennai until late December after which she is going to her elder daughter’s house in Singapore. She promised me that she would find someone soon. That is when she came to know that one of her older acquaintances SM is free and looking for a job. SM is 60+ (U was 40+) but active and very sweet and soft spoken. She & T paati jointly took care of Chittu starting 16^th November and after some training from T paati, she did the job independently. Chittu also gelled well with her and she has taught a lot of things to Chittu and takes care of her like her own grand daughter. She has been with us for 2.5 months now and she is like family. So whatever happens is for GOOD and fingers crossed SM should work out well for us.